The Foods of Love: Aphrodisiacs

"Ah Aphrodite! The Greek goddess of love has for centuries, most generously, albeit unwittingly, lent her name to those substances which stimulate our erogenous zones. I’m talking about aphrodisiacs the foods of love. Today there are untold numbers of physically and/or mentally altering foods, drugs and other fanciful stuffs that make us more randy and ready for love. Some do the trick; others merely irritate your private parts. Some have been around forever; others are new to the love market.

While many men (and some women) swear by Viagra, Cialis and other pharmaceutically produced aphrodisiacs, I’m a fan of natural products, (including natural aphrodisiacs) so all you really need to boost your sagging libido is a well stocked kitchen.

Our interest in natural aphrodisiacs came about not because of lust, trendy fashions or social obligations. It all started with man’s desire to mimic the divine qualities of the gods and to naturally fulfill a happy life. From China to Rome; the Middle East to the Mayan and Inca Empires, plants that contained aphrodisiac properties were often considered magical potions that would stimulate and prolong sexual feelings.

Aphrodisiacs Through the Ages

Some potent ingredients, including the "warming plants", garlic and onion, have for centuries been highly favored sexual stimulants.

The Greek, holistic physician, Hippocrates maintained that ingesting garlic in any form, would enhance sexual potency. During the Middle Ages, the Spanish Judaic scholar Maimonides, seconded the motion. In Asia, devout Hindus and Egyptian priests were forbidden from consuming garlic because it was believed they would lose control over their sensual desires.

I’m not sure whether it still holds true for the devout today, but I do know that garlic is shunned by Hollywood vampires and assiduous dentists who instruct their staff to practice garlic abstinence. Knowing what we know about the powerful qualities of garlic it’s probably just as well. There’s nothing worse than a horny vampire or a dental assistant with bad breath. I personally adore garlic and have always added a few more cloves to recipes calling for only one or two. I’ve yet to be called either a nymphomaniac or “stinky breath”.

As for garlic’s bigger cousin, the humble onion, a similar history is noted. Onions were typically served to French newlyweds on the morning after their wedding night to restore their libidos. Arab folklore still promotes an aphrodisiac drink of onion juice mixed with honey as being the original Viagra. Gentlemen, stick around as I promise to suggest something less revolting.

The theory that garlic and onion grants one greater sexual prowess is unfortunately, still laughed at by most contemporary medical researchers. Actually, practically all holistic theories are regarded as rubbish by the noble medical profession. I do believe this will change in the near future as science catches up with folklore. It’s already been proven that an enzyme present in garlic and onion called nitric oxide synthase (NOS) is primarily responsible for the mechanism of erection.

According to an ancient worldwide philosophy that’s yet to be debunked, “The Doctrine of Signatures” suggests that we can determine the merits of plants simply by the way they look. For instance, a plant that looks like a human body part is relevant to that part. Take the carrot for example.

Many Asians believe carrots heat up the orange and red Chakras (or lower energy centers) that correspond to our earthly, sexual needs. There’s even a Japanese proverb that says, “A man who likes carrots likes women. It would be unwise to serve your beloved wilted carrots.” Naughty double entendres were obviously not beyond the honorability of the Japanese.

They also compared the slimy centered ochre to a man’s private parts, which no doubt also suggested the notion that size was of no importance.

Over in England, Nicholas Culpepper, a seventeenth century herbalist followed the Doctrine of Signatures as well. He was a big fan of herbal aphrosiciacs, especially asparagus, saying it “stirreth up bodily lust in man and woman.” Unfortunately asparagus has the distinct tendency to make your pee smell funny. This didn't seem to discourage Westerners at that time since asparagus was enjoyed throughout Europe.

Today we take pleasure in the amorous qualities of asparagus with confidence, as most powder rooms are equipped with an arsenal of odor combating products. Hopefully yours are also eco-friendly.

Other vegetables that have been known to enhance the libido are artichokes, which the French street vendors of old claimed “warmed the genitals”, and arugula, the leafy salad green once used in Greek love potions. Arugula may still found growing around phallic statues in Greece and Rome.

Fruits are said to “entice passion with their sweetness and succulence”. When one considers their shape, hot colors and juicy nature it’s only natural to assume so. The very act of sucking on a juicy mango is erotic. Apricots, bananas, dates, strawberries and watermelons are all considered “sex tonic foods”. Those with seeds, such as figs and pomegranates are especially potent. If you have the stomach for it, the inimitable Durian, famous for its overpowering aroma akin to unwashed socks, is considered the supreme aphrodisiac. There’s even a saying in Malaysia, “When the Durians fall, the sarongs rise.”

In the West, grapes have become synonymous with the act of love. We have the Greeks to thank for that along with masters of fine art who portray Dionysius (or Bacchus), the god of wine, fertility and procreation surrounded by the fruits of the vine.

Feeding your lover grapes has also become associated with foreplay. It’s been said that peeling the skin off a grape was done not to enhance the grapes’ stimulating properties -- but to demonstrate the care and concern one lover had for the other.

In the black and white film “I’m no Angel”, Mae West glorified the fruit’s erotic properties with her classic throaty aside, “Peel me a grape”.

Oysters still get a lot of publicity as being the aphrodisiac. Whether it’s that old Doctrine of Signatures theory or just the thought of an oyster slipping down your throat that gets people excited, one thing is for certain - oysters are rich in zinc and iron. Iron transports oxygen through our systems and zinc is an essential element for stimulating our metabolism. One word of caution however; this mollusk of love is on the Ten Riskiest Foods list so if you do eat them, make sure they’re fresh! The freshest oysters “flinch” when you squeeze lemon on them. Frankly, that would put me off right away, but one wouldn’t doubt their freshness.

Caviar is another fruit of the sea with claims of being an aphrodisiac. The word ka-hav’yar actually means “cake of strength” in Farsi. Of course, even the most prized Caviar is still just fish eggs with a mystique and a high priced sticker, but if your lover serves you Beluga, your salivary glands will undoubtedly get you going.

Other natural foods of love include nuts and seeds (because they’re rich in zinc) and of course everyone’s favorite confection.....

If you've every wondered why people give chocolates to a lover on Birthdays, Anniversaries and on Valentine’s Day it’s because chocolate is nature’s amphetamine. It quickens your pulse and boosts your mood. It also stimulates those happy hormones called endorphins. Chocolate is the ultimate feel good food and few would deny the notion that chocolate is nature’s most delicious aphrodisiac.

History tells us that chocolate was the preferred love tonic of the Aztec Emperor Montezuma II. Supposedly he drank fifty cups daily, before visiting his harem of six hundred women. Hot chocolate toddies do sound a lot better than onion juice laced with honey.

Not only is chocolate an aphrodisiac, it is addictive. Confectioners have known this for years and natural chocolate, high in cocoa sells the best. It’s no wonder that the Cadbury buyout went for 19.5 billion dollars. If the new owner, Kraft decides to skimp on the original Cadbury English recipe, customers will no doubt be left with melting libidos and a bitter taste in their mouth.

Speaking of bitter aphrodisiacs….Spanish Fly is a natural, but dangerous stimulant. Originally given to farm animals to incite them to mate, the crushed bits of emerald green “beetle” irritate the urinary track causing arousal (in both men and women) that can last for more than four hours. Hmmm.. sounds like a commercial for Cialis.

Natural aphrodisiacs should be savored. Eating them should be a sensual experience, especially when the time is right. It's often advised; however, not to over-eat. Romantic overtures on a full stomach can be uncomfortable and embarrassing.

So pick you favorites, get creative, eat, drink and be merry. Here’s wishing you many buoyant hours of sumptuous food, seductive company and gratifying encounters!

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