The True Meaning of Mother's Day
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Speaking my “Peace” about Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day has never been my favorite holiday. I take exception to this widely celebrated observance due to the fact that my own mother, who I love dearly, can’t stand it. She lost her mom at a very early age and had little respect for her father’s new wife. When Mother’s Day came around each year Mom felt hypocritical having to buy flowers, candy and a card for a step- mother she truly disliked. Although her daughterly duties have long since past, Mom still holds a modicum of contempt for the holiday, which, I suppose, rubs off on me.
Nevertheless, I send flowers and cards each year to Mom on Mother’s Day and she always thanks me, but never fails to remind me that she dislikes "that contrived" holiday.
Before you judge us for our indiscretions about a sacred holiday enjoyed by millions, be aware that the very founder of Mother’s Day grew to hate it as well.
Mother’s Day’s original roots were planted by pacifist Julia Ward Howe, author of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and the Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870. Julia called on all women to unite and “solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace.”
I think women uniting for peace is a wonderful way to celebrate Mother’s Day and that the holiday should be returned to its original premise.
So did Anna Jarvis at the turn of the century, although she focused more on the feminist angle. A social activist and suffragette, Jarvis is credited with finalizing the successful campaign to create a National Mother’s Day holiday.
Jarvis felt that homemakers and mothers received little or no recognition for their work. In 1914, after a lot of lobbying on the part of Ms. Jarvis, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the Second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. The whole “mothers for peace” issue took a back seat to the simple honoring of all mothers.
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As we all know, Mother’s Day has evolved into a highly commercial holiday where simply honoring our mother’s at Sunday service is just not enough. Gifts, according to the confectioners and florists of America are absolutely necessary if you want to keep things cool with Mom on the second Sunday in May.
Anna Jarvis was appalled; in fact, she was up in arms over the whole commercialization of her noble holiday.
A radical suffragette to the end, Julia blasted the nation’s florists and confectioners for destroying the holiday, calling them “charlatans, bandits, pirates, racketeers, kidnappers and other termites”. What a gal.
It’s been told that Anna Jarvis spent the rest of her life (and her money) fighting this battle. She obviously lost. Ironically, at her death in 1948, thousands of florists chipped in to pay her funeral expenses.
Today the world has mixed emotions about the commercialization of Mother’s Day. Most people, including many mothers, enjoy giving and receiving gifts for their services, but I wouldn't be surprised if most mothers agreed to sharing the honor with the “mother” of Mother’s Day, Julia Ward Howe and her premise that women have the power to promote life over death, peace over war and love over hate. Considering no one has initiated a national holiday that does just that, why not re-assign that honor to Mother’s Day?
Here are few words from Julia Ward Howe's Mother's Day Proclamation....
" Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or tears! …
We, women of one country, will be too tender of those of another to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. …
From the bosom of the devastated earth, a voice goes up with our own. It says, “Disarm, Disarm!”
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”
Take the Mother's Day Poll
Do you think Mother's Day has become too commercial?
See results without voting© Copyright Green Lotus, 2011. All rights reserved.
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Are you telling me Hallmark didn't invent Mother's Day as well as Valentine's Day? I think many folks really believe they did.
Although this holiday has become commercial, it still provides an excuse for grown-up chilcren to feel better about themselves by sending good ole Mom something to eat, drink or smell on this date. God bless our kids.
Hi Paradise. So good to see you. It was news to me too! Quite a surprise actually! Glad you enjoyed it.
drbj- I think Hallmark was probably a late player after the florists and confection makers. I like your take on the holiday making the kids feel better :)
Stories of our grandmothers and mothers continue to fascinate me-women of the era when it was all but heresy to speak one's mind. Howe and Jarvis sound like terrific individuals.
Excellent!!! I am so glad you wrote this, it needed to be said!! Check out my Hub "Mother's Day Without A Mom", you will see I am not a fan either!! Oh, but I am a fan of the suffragette movement, so the information on Anna Jarvis was appreciated and enjoyed!!
lorlie, yes I too love grandmother/mother stories. The women of the early 20th century were powerhouses that need more recognition. I knew you'd be a fan.
Hi Moonchild. You are most welcome. This story was a delight to write, actually. I have a relatedness with the suffragette movement too and I do look forward to reading your Mom-Day story!
So that's how it all started! Thanks for that fascinating bit of history!
I never knew where the idea came from and now I do - thanks for sharing :)
"thousands of florists chipped in to pay her funeral expenses" !!!!!!!!!! I love this :-))
And also now I can never forget Mother’s Day, because you brought to my attention that it is the 2nd Sunday in May.
So in return, I will do YOU a favour: Since your mom hates the day, buy her flowers a couple of days before and again a couple of days after. Point made :-))
Shalini - It is an eyeopening bit of history that gets very little press! Happy to give it some here. Thanks for stopping by.
Thank you billyaustin. I appreciate your words. Glad to shed a bit of light on the subject.
Hi DG. I'm happy you see the humor in it all my friend. I think that bit of irony is priceless and I love your Mother's Day suggestion. Actually, we do take Mom out to dinner just before and after the holiday, but sending flowers before and after is a terrific idea. Thanks!
Long before phrases like "too commercial" came into being my mother protested Mother's Day. Her take on it was that if her children couldn't appreciate her all year long she certainly did not want feigned appreciation brought about by some outside force. It is interesting to read all these years later how that "outside force" came about. This is an excellent article providing me with insight not only into Mothers' Day but to my own mother as well. Thank You!
Sadly, I didn't know the history of Mother's Day until now, GL. I really do think that all holidays are very commercial and every little reason for any celebration involves us the consumers to overspend on lavish gifts which pushes us further into debt. I think all of us should put more focus on the other 364 days out of the year to show mom our appreciation. But hey, that's just me ;) Thanks for sharing this.
Dohn
Hum, being a MOM I can say that I enjoy special down time with my kids, a nice meal and conversation, afternoon tea. They always get frustrated that every year I say the same thing when they ask what I want, a nice quiet day with you. NO flowers (I'm allergic) No candy (meh don't like it) just a nice quiet day with no COMMERCIAL nonsense. Thanks for this wonderful Hub. Peace :)
Very interesting hub. I think there is no holiday that is not too commercialized. I enjoy buying little things for my mom but we don't make too big a deal of things. We boys all call me which is perfect as two live out of state. We have never done lavish gifts. I don't want or expect them, just a little time with those I love is for me. Good hub.
I thought the bit about the florists & chocolatiers paying for Jarvis' funeral was a good one too. Was thinking as I read it that DG would appreciate it - and sure'nuff! hehe
But another bit of irony is Howe's banner for peace. Ever listen to the words of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" which she wrote? The lady wasn't the most peaceable soul of all time. It's doubtful whether peacefulness would be the message read on her face, in fact.
My mother lost her mother before I was born - a month before, as it happened. She was unable to attend the funeral being half-way across the US in the Model-T days. She'd loved her mother but felt some guilt at leaving home to pursue her own education when her mother was a widow on a farm with two younger daughters to raise. Mother was an early suffragette in her own realm in the early 1900s. She was a strong woman as well as a loving one. She felt beholden to her next oldest sister for taking care of their mother and delaying her own education. Choices are often difficult, huh?
I loved her dearly - but also regret not giving her more attention & I don't mean on Mother's Day - but any day. I always sent her a MD card and/or a gift (I lived far away from her, too) - but that's not what expresses the message of devotion, is it? I hope she sensed how much I really loved her. She wrote me every single day!
Yesterday I received a lovely gift from my granddaughter for Mother's Day - and it was so thoughtfully chosen - it said a bunch. I'll get cards from stepsons and stepdaughters - faithfully, and my own daughter and some other grandkids, too. But Carla's (and her two kids') gift really expresses her love. So I suppose it's a matter of what is actually communicated. If it's just a duty or because it's 'that' day again - well - it's ok. Nothing wrong with it being observed, but - - one knows when one is loved and honored. If it's commercialized - doesn't mean it can't be personally expressed. No one has to buy into the commercialization.
As for the one-day-a-year sentimentalization - well - I have mixed feelings. Having spent many M.D's with no word from my two children after they were in their late teens, I've long-since become immune to that. It wasn't that the day had so much overall significance for me, but the fact that it did for them and they chose to ignore it did mean a lot.
Frankly - I love "un-holidays" for giving someone a kind remembrance anyway. Who says one has to wait for a designated day, if one wants to give something? Or that one has to give something just because it's customary?
I like your article, GL. It's refreshing to shine a clear light on old dark corners! And this really is one. Mothers are generally rising up for peace and against smoking and texting and driving - the things that endanger their kids and others. Women have capacity for empathy and compassion, along with strength. It's a legacy we can apply with or without a movement to organize it.
Thank you for your beautiful Hub, GL. I also did not know about history of Mothers Day before reading your article, so thank you for education.
Hi there raisingme. What a nice comment! Seems we have certainly have an agreement when it comes to mothers and Mother's Day. Much thanks.
Hi dohn. It's funny that the real story has been kept kinda undercover. Commercialism has a real hold on the consumer and I totally agree with you about honoring Mom throughout the year. So glad to see your comment, it's much appreciated.
Katiem - Love and Peace (and quiet) to you this Mother's Day. You're tag line is very appropriate for this Hub! Thanks as always for your interesting comments.
Pam - I'm glad you agree (I knew you would). Although I'm not a Mom, I think I'd feel guilty getting gifts from my kids on Mother's Day. What an extravagance. Now, a home-made cards or a poem would be wonderful, but then again I still like the whole "peace" theme best. Thanks for commenting.
LOL Nellie! You know you're right!! The "terrible swift sword" doesn't really say "peace", but maybe the old girl was talking about "the Lord". I don't much go for any fire and brimstone in that department either. You're spot-on when you said "it's a matter of what is actually communicated". We don't really have to "buy" anything if we express our love for our mothers and grandmothers...and it doesn't necessarily have to be on Mother's Day. I also like your thoughts on Mothers for a better world. Here's to the contributions of women everywhere.
Hello Tatjana. So good to see you and much thanks for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed it.
GL, I had no idea that Mother's Day was officially instituted by Woodrow Wilson. I always learn very interesting things in your Hubs. Speaking of commercialism, besides florists and confectionaires, as a former jeweler, Mother's Day, for that industry, is it's second largest holiday next to Christmas. All the best, Ciao :)
Haha - GL - yes - it was all about the armed forces of the lord, but those were not instituted by himself during his visit to the planet according to the account. He spoke of hope, faith and love, not brandishing "terrible swift swords" - though I admit those rousing march-like "hymns" in church did wake up the snorers and get the attention of the congregation. ;) Pipe organs need all the help they can get from songwriters!
once again, a great, informative hub. I also did not know the original significance of mother's day. I'm currently reading a book (based on a true story about Frank Lloyd Wright and Maymah Borthwick, his lover. The women from these early time periods were very outspoken and active in social movements. The industrial revolution brought more prosperity and women started staying home and taking care of the home/family while others went to work.
I really like the original concept of mothers uniting and working together to provide peace for their families and communities. nice work green!
Wonderful hub on Mother's Day meaning.
Hi Jai - Ah how can we forget the jewelry industry as a "beneficiary" on Mother's Day. That's for sure. Thanks for adding that "gem" to the list.
Yes Nellie, zealots have that tendency to add fearful words to the gentlest of saying.
Hi rE. Thank you so much. As a big fan of Frank I'm not surprise that he took up with a strong woman. It's interesting what prosperity will do to the role of women. I wonder if it would take the same route today? I'm glad you agree with me on the original Mother's Day concept.
Hi there Sandy. Good to see you and thanks so much for your comment.
I did not know the history either...shame on me. Good information and we all have things that rub us the wrong way. And, I agree that just about every holiday is commercialized too much. Thanks for the info.
ictodd -Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. You are most welcome.
You make several good points. The idea is to honor our mothers. We don't need a holiday to do that. We just need to do it.
Namaste.
Thank you Deborah. If one chooses to honor their mother, I agree, you don't need to be told when and how to do it.
that makes sense that you are a fan of FLW. You would probably enjoy reading the book, the title is Loving Frank, by Nancy Horan. :] yes, she was a strong, intelligent woman.
I'll definitely check it out! Thanks for recommending it rebekah.
Fascinating! This is all news to me! (is it mother's day then? Bloomin' eck!)
Three cheers for Julia Ward Howe! That mother's day proclamation is one to copy down in my note book (sigh, I'm such a swot).
Hi apricot. So good to see you here. Happy belated mother's day..just for the record :) Glad you found some good use for the proclamation.
Hey. Really a great post.
Thanks for posting this piece!
Thanks jessica!...and a happy belated Mother's day to you :)
Paradise7 Level 6 Commenter 2 years ago
Great hub, really terrific. I didn't know the provenance of Mother's Day until I read this article. I always considered it a "Hallmark" holiday.