The Twelve Spiritual Laws of Groucho Marx

Woody Allen called him “the greatest comedian this country has ever produced". Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx, was born Oct 2nd 1890 in New York City. Although Groucho’s career began as a singer, he soon became know as a master of wit, particularly for his clever one-liners.

Groucho Marx made 26 movies, 13 of them with his brothers Chico and Harpo. The Marx Brothers' wildly funny feature films, today rank as film classics. Later in life, Groucho had a successful solo career as the host of the radio and television game show You Bet Your Life. His distinctive hunched walk, ever-present cigar, heavy greasepaint moustach and eyebrows became the classic “Groucho” persona.

It’s been said that there’s a close relationship between great humor and the truth. What’s truthful isn’t necessarily humorous, but what’s humorous is sure to contain a modicum of truthfulness. When you look at it objectively, it's easy to see that funny stuff is simply the truth imbued with positive energy and a healthy dose of the rhythm of life, in essence, great comic timing.

So with humble apologies to Deepak Chopra, author of one my favorite books, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, I present my “Groucho” hypothesis:

• Study the subject’s classic one-liners in analogy with quotations from some of the world’s greatest philosophers, teachers, theologians, and scientists and one may observe a curious relatedness between the artist’s comic quips and the wisdom of the universe.

1- Attributed to Schrodinger, Bohr and Einstein: “The Quantum Soup is an expression for the linking of all matter and energy in the universe; the universe is an ocean of connectivity.”

Groucho: “If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you.”

2- Carl Jung: “I simply believe that some part of the human Self or Soul is not subject to the laws of space and time.”

Groucho: “You remind me of you… your eyes, your throat, your lips, everything about you reminds me of you... except you. How do you account for that?”

3- Unknown Philosopher: “You can avoid having ulcers by adapting to the situation: If you fall in the mud puddle, check your pockets for fish.”

Groucho: “My brother thinks he's a chicken - we don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs.”

4- Confucious: “Humility is the solid foundation of all the virtues”.

Groucho: “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”

5- Einstein: “There is no time; time is in the mind."

Groucho: “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”

6- Epicurus: "Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not."

Groucho: “This man is either dead or my watch has stopped."

7- Ray Bradbury: "Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down".

Groucho: "If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me".

8- The Masonic Order: “Discover the lost word and find enlightenment”

Groucho: “Say the secret word and win 100 dollars”.

9- Dwight D. Eisenhower: “We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.”

Groucho: “Military Intelligence is a contradictory of terms”

10- Deepak Chopra: "You can free yourself from aging by reinterpreting your body and by grasping the link between belief and biology."

Groucho: “I intend to live forever, or die trying.”

11- The Dalai Lama: "It is possible to have compassion without attachment"

Groucho: “I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception”.

12- Abraham Lincoln: "A person will be just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Groucho: “Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it! Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others”.

If you've never seen a Marx Brothers movie, "Duck Soup" is the perfect introduction to Groucho, Chico, and Harpo (and even Zeppo). The 1933 movie, is a tremendously satire on politics and war with Groucho as the wise-cracking Rufus T. Firefly, dictator of the small nation Freedonia. The country is in financial crisis, so Rufus shrewdly woos the the wealthy, wide-eyed Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) into becoming its benefactor. When the leader of the neighboring Sylvania decides he's in love with Mrs. Teasdale, Firefly declares war.

There's a true story that the village of Fredonia, in upstate New York wrote to Paramount and asked the studio to remove all references in the film to Freedonia because "it is hurting our town's image". Groucho fired back a sarcastic reply asking them to change the name of their town because "it's hurting our picture".

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