How to Curb Your Worrying

You've heard of the term "Curb Your Enthusiasm"? Besides being one of the funniest shows on television, it's a common colloquialism that means ‘stop acting so manic and get your enthusiasm under control’. Frankly, I think being overly enthusiastic is fine; in fact, it’s most probably good for you. It has to be more healthful than being overly worrisome.

Most of us find it difficult to put our worries aside. After all, you can’t turn your worries off as you would a light fixture with a light switch. It would certainly feel great if we could give up worrisome thoughts with ease and without feeling guilty. We’d all have more energy for doing more constructive things in our lives and we’d feel a lot better too.

Have you ever imagined yourself without worries? Even if you’ve only been able to do it for an instant, you know the sudden feeling of relief, perhaps even exhilaration. But how do you make it stick?

It’s been said that the best way to stop worrying is to stop thinking about your worries. But how do you stop thinking about something? If I said to you, “Don’t think about puppy dogs”, I’m sure you’d start to think about them. It’s human nature - and it’s human nature to worry about problems and negative situations...even imagined negative situations.

I think that if we focus our attention on something, it increases in importance and value. On the other hand, if we ignore something, it goes away or ceases to have much meaning in our lives; just like magic.

If we didn’t focus on our goals, visualizing our dreams; taking positive action in that direction, we wouldn’t remain on the path to success for very long. Focusing on our worries works the same way.

Our minds are always trying to work out solutions to our problems and we often do so even before they happen.

Solving problems in our head, or being prepared for an upcoming snowstorm or a “rainy day” is smart, but I’ve known people who worry about less predictable events because they think it’s only natural to do so; what’s more, they believe it is necessary to do so.

Some people even think it’s noble to worry. A lot of parents are like that! They think that if they didn’t worry about their children all the time (even when there’s nothing wrong), they wouldn’t be good parents. OK, perhaps it's not fair for me to judge, since I’ve never had children of my own, but I do feel bad for both parent and child in such a situation.

Worrying and problem solving are both mental activities; both begin in your head, but the worrying won’t dissipate unless you do something positive.

This is an important key to curbing your worrying. It will help you to lessen your anxiety and will improve the chances of achieving your goals.

You can start by asking yourself whether the worrisome event is happening now, or whether it might happen. You may think it's happening now, like a family member is in surgery, or your buddy was sentenced to do time in prison, but you're really worried about the consequences of those events. Worrying is always about the future. Can you determine the course of future events? Yes, sometimes you can, but worrying is not one of the ways. Thinking negative thoughts can actually work against you.

Start thinking less about the worry and more about things you can do, or people you can enroll to lessen the worry. Making a positive contribution makes you feel less helpless.

If that’s truly not possible, or if you’re just too worried to act or things seem beyond your control, just think positively. It doesn’t cost you anything and you have nothing to lose except your worries. The mind is very powerful and there are many people, myself included, who believe in the power of positive thinking. If you need help getting started I've included a few helpful articles in the right column.

Another way to stop worrying is by changing your perception of the problem. If a problem isn’t worrisome then it stops being a problem.

If we choose to let it be, and acknowledge that everything is happening for a reason yet unknown, we can relax. Believing that something perceived as “wrong” may actually be something "right" is very powerful and liberating. I’ve had friends who were devastated over of a failed relationship, only to discover that it opened the door to a far more satisfying one.

A- Worrying drains your emotional energy and sends your anxiety levels soaring, so you are less likely to act positively and effectively.

B- Worrying about things that only ‘might” happen causes stress in the lives of other people, including those about whom you worry.

C- Nothing bad is happening now and the future hasn't happened yet.

D- Statistically, whatever you are worrying about will never happen.

E - You can almost always use physical preparedness, as in the above mentioned snowstorm scenario.

F- Despite what chronic worriers think, worrying is not a positive solution to a problem. It HAS NO EFFECT on preventing or solving problems, nor does it prepare you for the worst.

G- If you want to feel more in control, change your fearful thinking into fearless thinking. Sending out positive thoughts has been known to be effective in shaping future events. If you believe that, you better believe that sending out negative thoughts and visualizing the worst is just as powerful, so stop it!

H- Lessen your anxiety by quieting your mind through meditation. If you need help, there are now computer programs that teach you to unwind, relax and meditate.

I – If all else fails, seek counseling or talk to your family doctor.

J - If you enjoy worrying, never mind.

If you are a chronic worrier, you’re not alone. A 2007 study conducted at the Indiana University School of Medicine and the Regenstrief Institute, Inc. revealed that Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is as common as depression.

Try the above suggestions or talk to your doctor or to a counselor. You owe it to yourself and to your family not to let worries get in the way of your health, happiness and success.

Curb Your Worrying!

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